A place to study

What makes a good place to study? Obviously, this question applies to how one would be able to study with no interruptions right? I've learned in my career exploration class, a good place to study is one where there is complete silence and minimal interruptions (preferably none at all).

Lately, I've been trying to get school work done and I'm not saying its close to impossible...but, when you're taking care of a four year old who you don't want sitting in front of the tube the entire time (which is sad to say my temporary babysitter)...then, yeah! It can be a little distracting because a parent should not neglect their child. Sometimes while I'm at my computer, my son will do other things such as play with his toys. Right now he is practicing writing his name. This required my supervision, so I'm back to vent about how I should be spending more time reading and writing with him.

*cooking breakfast* he's hungry

There has to be something that works. I get off school by 11:45 Mon-Thurs, pick up my son at daycare by 12-12:30. Then come home by at least 1. I don't start studying right away. My brain needs to wind down first. My son and I eat lunch and I  make sure he is cleaned up and settled in. Around 2, I am back and forth with attending to Elijah and my school work. By the time I know it, 5 hits and its time to prepare for dinner. My husband comes home, we eat dinner ...by this time I just want to spend time with my family. Maybe this is my fault in having a lack of studying time because I should just hit the books right after dinner. I dealt this hand upon myself...having a family while returning back to school. Real smart Nette. Real smart.

On top of this, there's Nate. My other kid. LOL

Anyway, library time is probably a must this semester. Funny thing is I like to study at home, but I just get carried away which is what I realized are my very own interruptions: Making my family the priority. Do I mind? Of course not. Can I juggle school and home? Yes. And ya know what?
Its all worth it.

* Movie "Rio" is playing 3 feet away from me for the first time today (sigh)...it will not be the last.*

A sigh over Nate

What would you do for your only sibling? One would say, of course...anything. Heartless people would say, jack sh*t. Is it possible to be in-between? I guess it would depend on the relationship and if your sibling is not a complete f' up, right? The journey with my bro has been one hell of a ride. Just recently, well...not sure if 3 months is recent but, my brother got kicked out of my mom's house. He's 23, didn't have a job when he got kicked out, and I was pretty much the only one he could go to. He called me from a pay phone and told me that once again that mom and him got into it. What started it this time? The damn air-conditioning. She didn't want it on, and his dumba** turned it on. When I first heard the story, I kind of took my bro's side because damn it..its the summer time...and it could get hot. Turn up the AC! My mom could be a total b*tch at times. Anyway, that argument was the icing on the cake for her. I know there are other issues that she just got fed up with, so that I could understand. Did I think twice about my brother coming to live with us before I picked him up? Of course. But, I knew I couldn't leave him out there. My hope is that he will give himself good life-goals while living with me and eventually accomplish them. The first thing my husband and I did was lay out some ground rules for him. My husband typed out his "what not to do" rules and created a contract so my brother could understand discipline and consequences of negative actions. This was also created so my brother can have daily reminders of what is expected of him such as cleanliness and responsibility. My husband even designed a questionnaire to help him see how and why he’s in his current situation and how fortunate he was to still have us support him in his time of need. This is important because if he can't appreciate what other people are doing for him, then the more likely he will take advantage of those people and his present living situation. Things were going good until two weeks ago.

My brother and I fought. Not verbally either. He didn't hit me, however I ended up attacking him. Is this totally against the law? Yes, it is. But, in my world...when you're being called a b*tch to your face you better be prepared to have one landed on you. Straight up. Yup, I could be a mom/wife/student/ and crazy gangster chick all rolled up into one at times. On this particular night we were coming home from a friend’s barbeque in Morgan Hill. My husband and bro were both buzzed so I ended up being the designated driver. I was driving home and my brother started a conversation that was going absolutely no where. It all started when we were discussing his back-in-the-day drug habits and “hanging around the wrong crowd era” that he was going through. He tried to argue that drug dealers could smoke their own sh*t and get rich from selling other people dope and will NEVER eventually get CAUGHT. WTF? I was thinking, are you F'ing serious? They will always get caught. I finally said..."lets just agree to disagree and please keep your mouth zipped now." He proceeded to tell me I am arrogant and will never know because I've never experienced hanging out with drug dealers and yada yada yada. Ummm, sure I have. But, I'm not going to even go there right now. As soon as I parked, he got out the car and I told him he needed to sleep somewhere else for the night. That’s when he said it- B-I-T-C-H.  And that’s when my fist landed on his face multiple times.  After my husband pushed my brother away to safety from my fists of fury, I took my sleeping son from the truck and marched to the house… leaving them outside.  Soon afterwards the neighbors called the cops and next thing you know some chick cop came knocking on my door. She asked me if I hit him and I said, “yup.” I told her the whole story of how he was talking his sh*t while I drove his ass back to MY house. She said if he wanted to press charges, I could go to jail for assault. I gave her the look like “go ahead” do what you have to do. She said she “understood” and asked me if he could spend one more night at our place. I said sure and his a** has been here ever since. I’m waiting for an apology, but I haven’t heard a peep from him so far. His a** is lucky he’s still here.

Vocabulary words:

secular: (adjective) 1. Denoting attitudes, activities, or other things that have no religious or spiritual basis

hubris: (noun) 1. Excessive pride or self-confidence.

2. (in Greek tragedy) Excessive pride toward or defiance of the gods,    leading to nemesis.

Note- I just re-read this blog; trying to decide if I should edit. I’m not always this full of rage…not that it matters. Ha. Next blog will be on, dunt da da da… Republican debate! I actually watched this via Fox channel tonight. Romney seems like he was well prepared, that bastard.

A night to forget or a night to remember?

Wow. Where do I begin? I guess I’ll start off with Friday. This day was mainly preparation time for saying goodbye to the last three decades of my life. My husband planned a 30th birthday party for me at the Bubble Lounge in San Francisco and I wanted to look and feel my best. I started off my day with getting my nails done and bought a few Hollywood glam essentials- fake eyelashes, a new dress, and new pumps to complete my outfit. The entire time I was thinking I don't need any of this but I said to myself "heck with it, I only turn 30 once." Saturday morning comes and I have another nail appointment...this time for a pedicure. I go to my nail appointment, then drive to my mom's to borrow a full set of bling. This set of bling consists of Judith Ripka heart earrings, matching necklace and of course the bracelet. I thank my mom and say tootles because my husband and I still needed to drop off our son at my in-laws before our friends came over our house. Saying goodbye to my son is never easy. My husband says, I always complain about us not having enough time to spend together alone, yet when it comes to leaving our son I don't want to leave him. Yup, I'm an indecisive weirdo at times. After dropping off our son Elijah, we return to our home and I start to get ready. My hair is curled, make-up is flawless, and the outfit is bangin'. Ding-dong there goes the doorbell. In walks our friends and I could feel the hype. Our pre party begins with Captain Morgan, Ciroc, and Dr.Pepper which is laid out for us on our table. Four Ciroc shots later, I climb into the backseat of our truck and I feel excited because I know people are coming out to see me for my birthday and I can't wait to see all my friends. Then paranoia sinks in. It's been a while since I've been under the influence and riding in a car. My girlfriends who are also riding with us in our car, tell me to take a couple more shots out of the Ciroc bottle so I can loosen up a little before getting into the lounge. What a mistake! I remember going in, sitting on a red couch and drinking champagne. The rest of the night is history. F*CK. According to my husband and my girlfriends, I did some real embarrassing sh*t. Here is a highlight...I'm not going to go over everything because now I feel like a real dumb sh*t. I wanted to fight some random guy. He was an innocent bystander who just needed a place to sit and my drunk a** thought I was some high and mighty princess who owned the damn place. I told him "we have a reservation and I don't know you, so leave". I also said something to the effect of "I don't know this motherf*cker!" Super classy right? I also fell three times in the club and outside of the club. One in the middle of the street on Embarcadero and God knows where else. F*CK. To top it all off I lost my mom's bracelet. Once I got home and realized it was missing, I cried. I crashed out around 2am and woke up at 7am to dry heave. I couldn't sleep until 9am because I felt so sick. I couldn't throw up anything and I still felt drunk. 

When I finally got a couple hours of rest and woke up, flashes of the night before kicked in. Nooooooooo! Humiliation is not even the word to describe the state I was in. I was beyond mortified. It's sad really. I hope I didn't embarrass my husband...well, at least not that much. A night to remember? Hell-to-the-no!

Sunday wasn't so bad, our friends threw a clambake at their house, a seafood fest rather. I ate, smoked a joint, played beer pong then went home and passed out. Monday, my in-laws hosted a bbq for another one of my birthday celebrations. This was really nice because I felt much physically better and it was also nice to have my side of the family present as well. Overall, I guess you could say there is an upside to my weekend. Sunday and Monday was awesome. I also ended up calling some of my friends and apologized for my behavior on Saturday night. Some were sweet and told me there was no need for apologizing because it was my birthday and anything goes and yada yada. And of course some of them told me straight up how sloppy I was. My husband told me nearly everything that happened that night even though it was painful to hear. I'm appreciative of all of it.

Vocabulary words:

Talmud:  Noun- The body of Jewish civil and ceremonial law and legend comprising the Mishnah (text) and the Gemara (commentary).

doublet: 1. Either of a pair of similar things, in particular.

             2. Either of two words of the same historical source, but with two different stages of entry into the      language and different resultant meanings, for example fashion and faction, cloak and clock.

My first sigh

So, I've been sitting here for the last 15 minutes contemplating what to write. I've come to realize that I want to use this blog to benefit me, and not only do this as a "requirement". So, I'm going to write my first blog to describe the state I am feeling as my second week of school has begun. Right now, I feel anxious. I'm in my second to last semester and I really can't believe I'm finally here. I will be 30 years old in three days. So go ahead do the math. Yes, I graduated high school in 99' and have been taking college courses for over ten years now. Do I feel ashamed? In a way I do. I overhear student's conversations about them going on their fifth year at SJSU, but graduated high school in 06'.  In silent sarcasm I think “Yippeeee! You’re soooo old!” and somberly remind myself that I’m a decade older than they are.  But at least I have a goal and I'm pushing myself toward it. Being a mom, wife, and student is not easy. I wonder how the mom's that have to work and have a family can manage having the "balance" that keeps their lives sane. It seems I will shortly find out...that is hopefully, if I find a job after I graduate and my kids will stay good and not drive me up the wall. At first I sort of groaned about writing this blog, but now I'm excited about it.  Some say writing is a great way to have an outlet when it comes to venting. And boy do I have much to vent about. I could finally give my husband a break!

Vocabulary words:

jurisprudence: 1) the theory or philosophy of law 2) a legal system

transgressions: 1) the act of transgressing; the violation of a law or duty or moral principle